So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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