So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You've changed since you got that strap on
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
