...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
