I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
