it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
She swung at the pinata with crutches
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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