spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
