Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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