Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
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