Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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