Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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