I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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