well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
did i just pee glitter
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
