My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
