Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
