did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
His nipple licking is glorious
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
