and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
