The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
