I'm sorry my penis didn't work
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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