i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
