i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
