If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
