Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i wish my penis had a tongue
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
