i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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