6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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