From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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