I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
