her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
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