can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I need to align my fucking chakras
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
