Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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