Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
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