This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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