so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
