dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
