you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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