Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
