I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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