Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
