i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
