I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
