You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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