there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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