I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
