yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
