If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
My balls are so social today.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize
