so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
