i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
