So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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