bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
