i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'm so fucking centered right now
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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