Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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