he puts the penis in happiness.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
