And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
