first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
