if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
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