So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
